Which is why the TF2 Team came prepared with a brand new blog post, and tidings of an incoming… thing:
A Secret TF2 Project!
The TF2 team is working on something brand new for 2012. We can’t tell you what it is, because they won’t tell us, but what they WILL say is that it isn’t a hat, it isn’t a map, and go away. From this we can only conclude that the TF2 team is working on some ungodly hat-map hybrid that you can wear on your head while you run around in it. You heard it here first. Also last, because they just told us it’s not that either. But it’s really cool.
It’s probably not HL3, and it’s probably not SOB, so what can this “TF2012” secret be? I’m willing to bet it’s some sort of new gamemode. Since the Halloween maps have been such a success, perhaps this might even be some sort of L4D-esque Player vs Enemy gamemode. Rumor has it this is the case, which is great – I’ve been waiting since 2007 to mow down an entire team’s worth of Soldier bots, and I’m running out of patience. As well as hats for the Heavy.
A Steam Workshop Blog!
You might think we went a little overboard putting an exclamation mark on that title, but hear us out: we bought a gross of exclamatory punctuation on eBay, and we’ve got to get rid of these things before someone finds out how much we spent on them. ($7,000!!!!!!) Anyway, the blog is live! Check it out here for the latest workshop news and announcements! There’ve been nearly 4000 user-generated items submitted so far, and we’re going to keep shipping them throughout the year(!), so head over to the Workshop and vote on what you’d like to see.
Pretty neat! I haven’t been on the Workshop for more than like… 40 seconds at a time, so hopefully the blog and other new additions will help improve one’s browsing experience.
The Last “Meet the Team” Short
That title probably deserved an exclamation mark, but we over-estimated how many we had and now we’re out. This year, the lovable, indecipherable Pyro finally gets some time in the spotlight. There will be blood. And not like in the movie There Will Be Blood, either, where there was only blood at the end, and not even very much of it. Ours has lots of blood pretty much all the way through. If the butterscotch mint-sucking old mummies who pick the Academy Awards thought Look Out, There Might Be a Little Blood was great, wait’ll they see how many gallons we managed to cram into our movie. They’re going to have to melt down Fort Knox to make all the Oscars we’re going to win.
Good to hear MtP is on the way after all… didn’t they promise us a “Meet the Survivors” series for L4D1? And a “Meet the Heroes” series for Dota 2, anyway? I swear, I don’t even want to know how long we’ll have to wait for “Meet the Freeman”.
The Second Annual Saxxy Awards
Just in case the Oscar mummies don’t recognize the subtle dramatic undertones of the uninterrupted blood explosion that is Meet the Pyro, we can always stack the deck at the Saxxys, our own awards show. This year, expect the Saxxys to be much bigger and better, due to the imminent unveiling of another secret. Is it that we’re giving Meet the Pyro five Oscars? That’s not the secret, but let’s just say we’d like to thank the Academy. More specifically, we’d like to thank the Academy’s lawyers for not reading this blog post.
Another secret? TWO secrets? I’m not even going to bother speculating about this thing. Who knows what this is all about. Maybe they’re releasing Source Filmmaker or something. It’s about time for that too!
For the time being, we’ve got plenty more things to worry about in TF2. Not in a bad way, though. There’s two item cross-promotions: one for the promising Kingdoms of Amalur; the other for the controversial Jagged Alliance: Back In Action. In addition, participants of the 2010 TF2 Art Pass Mapping Competition, as well as the top 3 winners of all TF2Maps competitions (past, present, and future) will get their hands on… the long-awaited Mapper’s Medallion! Looks nice, but I’ll stick with my custom-made LambdaGeneration Clan Pride medal. Can’t go wrong with that thing.
Speaking of TF2Maps competitions, might I interest you in their “Dynamic Payload” mapping competition? The contest focuses on designing a brand new Payload map, featuring a “dynamic element”. It can be anything that involves “moving, turning, lifting, teleporting, cloning or turbo-boosting” the Payload bomb cart, although you are not tied to dynamically manipulating the cart itself. Feel free to give life to other parts of the level. Winners will get the aforementioned Mapper’s Medallion, and currently undisclosed prizes. Rules and more info can be found here.
That’s all from the hectic world of Team Fortress 2, for now. There will be more soon, so be sure to check back. Let’s hope we find out what those surprises are. Meanwhile, I’m off to the cinema. Time to watch “Look Out, There Might Be a Little Blood“. Oscar winner… every year since… the Oscars started. “Citizen Kane” is nothing compared to this, man.