About us

Man cannot live on bread alone. Or... so we're told. At some point on the 31st of March, we realized that maybe we were meant for greater things. Things like... cutting up animals. I mean, let's be serious here - everything Valve has made since 2007 has been terrible. Half-Life, and PC gaming are dead. As dead as the animals we're about to cut up. So what's the point anymore?



We've decided to give the site a complete rebranding - a rebranding based on century-old principles and traditions, gathered from the Northern Highlands. Never again shall your food have a mundane, icky taste. Unless you buy headcrab.

Our produce

Speaking of Xenian fauna - our otherworldly stock is hand-picked from the outer rims of the Xenian borderworld, then brutally dismantled using a Gluon destabilizer device. We even have assistance from the finest of butchers - the brave men and women of Aperture Science, who have provided us with the technology to make sure that it's really dead. In fact, all of our meat is nurtured and prepared to ensure that ultimate perfection is reached, regardless of which alien/human environment it came from.

Quality sourced food

Forget potatoes, lemons, sandviches, or anything of the sort. We're gonna rock your tastebuds so hard, it's going to feel like the Combine invasion just went off in your stomach.



So sit back, relax, and get out your fork and crowbar, because only a true free man can savor this stuff!