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Team Fortress 2 Kicks Off Day 1 Of New “Pyromania Update”; Meet The Pyro To Come Out On Wednesday

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Oh, snap.

Team Fortress 2 Kicks Off Day 1 Of New “Pyromania Update”; Meet The Pyro To Come Out On Wednesday

To celebrate the impending release of the long-awaited Meet the Pyro, coming this Wednesday on the 27th of June, Valve is releasing a massive new TF2 update known as the Pyromania Update. Check out the blog post for bizarre details on how the update was named.

This is Pyromania’s main webpage, including a handy little timer indicating the exact time left until the update’s release. The timer is counting down until precisely 7PM GMT, on the 27th of June. Until then, it’s safe to assume TF2 will receive no new game updates.

At the bottom of the Pyromania page, you will find a banana peel that will lead you to a secret webpage: The Poopy Joe Files. This page features transcripts from the U.S. Senate hearings of Mann Co’s Saxton Hale, and TF Industries’ Administrator. The two-page transcript of Saxton Hale’s hearing had previously been revealed during last week’s mystery event.

The Administrator’s hearing, however, was not, and it includes some very intriguing stuff that was suspiciously redacted by the Senate, concerning her reasons for stockpiling Australium. According to the Administrator’s hearing both the BLU and RED teams will be teaming up together, to… do something, that apparently might save the world at large. I honestly don’t know, but it sounds incredibly interesting – maybe it’s Mann vs Machine. Hopefully Valve tells us more concerning this in the days to come.

In any case, Day 1 of Pyromania brings us a new Capture the Flag gamemode, and a new map for this gamemode: Doomsday. Here it is:

In Doomsday (which sounds suspiciously like Mooncheese, except less awesome), both the RED and BLU teams attempt to transport a suitcase nuke full of recalled Australium to American monkeynaut Poopy Joe’s rocket. Only one team can carry the suitcase, and Poopy Joe with it, to the stars. It sounds epic, sure – but guess what? It also has 11 achievements for you to collect! Now, it’s epic.

Doomsday itself looks… okay, I suppose, but the problem is that, apart from the medium-sized rocket at the end of the map, there is nothing that makes this level stand out from the rest of TF2’s map styles. There’s no space-age or high-tech architectural or even stylistic designs – it’s just the default wood, corrugated steel, and sand that we’ve seen in just about every single Team Fortress 2 level ever released. The rocket itself is unimpressive, and doesn’t strike me as the kind of facility that would be responsible for launching America’s first monkeynaut into space, for a stand-off with Soviet monkeynaut Vladimir Bananas.

In any case, I can only assume it plays better than it looks. I’m glad it’s not another Payload thing (this is definitely single-flag, no-base Capture the Flag – ignore the lone rail line, and note the achievements that prominently feature the Scout carrying an Australium nuke), and it definitely sounds as if it’ll make for some action-packed, high-intensity combat. I’m sure it’ll be something fresh that’ll play quite differently from the other TF2 game modes. Looking forward to it!

But remember – this is just Day 1 of Pyromania. We’ve got 2 days to go, and each day will bring us a new content reveal. Expect to see the amazing new “Mann vs Machine” game mode revealed on the very last day! Apart from all the ill-fitting retcons and plotholes, this might just turn out to be TF2’s greatest content update of all time.

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  1. ahh lol I didnt even notice its 3 day!!! hl3!

  2. founded number 3 on the pyromania page 😀

  3. I’m surprised there’s so little today. With all the weapons and secret projects, there’s going to have to be a lot crammed into the next 2 days.

  4. This brings back memories of NOLF 2’s multiplayer. Sweet memories.

  5. Source Filmmaker and Saxxy Awards 2012 announcement in a few days?

  6. In the press release I just got, it says “a three day celebration that will feature the release of major new game features” So it seems that there maybe more than just Mann vs Machine. Can’t wait to find out what else comes out of this.

  7. All we have seen of the map is a single screenshot showing an isolated section of the map and you seem to have already formed a negative opinion of it. Even going so far as to say, ‘The rocket itself is unimpressive’?! How about waiting until the update goes live and you’ve played it a bit, so that then you’ve seen the whole map in action and can form a complete opinion, rather than some kneejerk rubbish.

    • I have only formed a negative opinion concerning the map’s aesthetics. If you had actually continued reading, you would have noticed that I hold a pretty positive outlook regarding the way the map itself will play – so I do hope you don’t believe graphics are the most important aspect of a map, because I most certainly don’t.
      And let’s not forget that first impressions are the most important (a fact that Valve is surely aware of), and judging from this screenshot (portraying the map’s objective and focal point, which represents its most important area), I have no reason to believe the rest of the map will be impressive or innovative in terms of graphical stylistics. If it was, then why wouldn’t Valve show those areas instead?

      • Everything you say in that comment is true, but I still fell like you’re critical of Valve in… almost every post you make directly relating to them. This one just continues the trend.

        • Why wouldn’t I be critical of Valve? While they’ve done some absolutely great things, and they make some of the best games out there… they are most certainly not infaillible – in fact, they need criticism just as much as any other developer out there does, if not more. Why would I possibly overlook, and ignore the mistakes they make? What would make Valve so special that they would actually be absolved from all forms of critique?

  8. 10:03 AM – Skatertader: 9 right?
    10:03 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: yes
    10:03 AM – Skatertader: OH MAI GAAWDDD
    10:04 AM – Skatertader: On page 4
    10:04 AM – Skatertader: She says somthing about 18 perfect idiots
    10:04 AM – Skatertader: red team has 9 and blu team has 9
    10:04 AM – Skatertader: that equals 18!!!
    10:04 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: uh duh
    10:05 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: what about it?
    10:07 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: the
    10:07 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: the
    10:08 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: pictures in the christmas map
    10:08 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: the secret
    10:08 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: areas in the christmas map
    10:09 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!
    10:09 AM – Skatertader: What secret areas
    10:09 AM – Skatertader: I never played tf2 during christmas
    10:09 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: theres pictures of robots in the christmas update map
    10:09 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: in an areea by reds spawn
    10:09 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: and by blues there’s well….
    10:09 AM – Skatertader: …
    10:09 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: hold on
    10:10 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: and AD
    10:11 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer:
    10:11 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: heres the robot pics
    10:11 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: the only normmal looking thing is the pyto
    10:12 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer:
    10:12 AM – Nameisthis™ The Lazor Engineer: read the thing on the wall

    guys me and skater found some secrets

  9. The new game mode reminds me of the mall scene in Left 4 Dead 2, where you have to get gasoline to fill up the car.

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