There are great game heroes, and then there are… well, then there are terrible game heroes.
We’re about to talk about a game hero that isn’t a hero at all. As such, he requires a whole new category of his own.
… the goddamned lawn ornament variety!
There has been much discussion about Valve’s upcoming title, Fart Cops, but we think that Valve should give Gnome Chomspki his own little spin-off.
Imagine it! Jumping through realities and universes, trying to get back to Episode Two’s Earth, fighting through aliens… and robots… and zombies… and dinosaurs!
It would be like Marathon Infinity meeting… something, except a hundred times better.
Give the man a chance. Hell, I can already see the advertising blitz. Gnomes given out on the street. Gnomes on buses. Gnomes on billboards. Gnomes on giant screens in the middle of Times Square. Gnome posters everywhere. Guerrila advertisers breaking into people’s homes, only to leave gnomes inside.
It could become the best-selling game of all time. No, screw that. Best-selling thing of all time.