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Gasp! Could Half-Life 2 Be Non-Canon?

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Many Half-Life fans have speculated – are the Gearbox expansions canon, or are they non-canon? Sure, some elements are part of the established continuum, like Black Mesa’s destruction, but what about the rest? At the very least, elements from the Gearbox expansions that do not contradict or convolute the overall plot can very well be used as “flavor material” by the fans.

But what if we’ve been looking the wrong way all along? What if the canonicity of a different Half-Life title is up in the air? Read on!

Gasp! Could Half-Life 2 Be Non-Canon?

Marphy Black (the esteemed filmmaker behind “HL1 Bloopers and Outtakes“; “Obscure VOX Easter Egg“; “HL1 Dreamcast Unused Intro” and “HL1 PS2 Toilet Scientists Conversation Easter Egg“, as well as a number of other Valve-themed videos), together with Barnz (who did level design for the Half-Life: Decay PC conversion), have stumbled on a secret that will forever irredeemably alter the story of the Half-Life universe – incontrovertible proof that the story of Half-Life 2, and, by extension, the Half-Life 2 Episodes, is non-canon. Here it is:

Yes, not only has Eli been dead since 1998 (those Advisors at the end of Episode Two must have missed the memo), but this proves, once and for all, that Half-Life 2 is non-canon. End of story. We are forever indebted to Marphy Black for this discovery.

Okay, okay, in all seriousness, yes, it is just a joke (and a hilarious one at that), and the door in question is scripted to open when Eli dies in the event that one of the headcrabs gets out of the generators and goes on an eating binge. But it is a pretty awesome trick. Sadly, I’m certain its discovery will push the next Half-Life’s release date back another 36 years.

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11 Comments

  1. because hl1 is old… and i see soo many black people in half-life 1, maybe thats not eli

  2. I believe this could be the scripted sequence left from early HL1 Beta, where eli dies from an explosion or something.

  3. Actually, with the G-Man jumping around through time and space, there might be a reasonable, yet mind-blowing explanation for this, which we might learn later on in the franchise.

    But honestly, in the end, it’s all wibbly wobbly timey whimey, and valve ain’t gotta explain shit.

  4. TRAITERS DIE! SURRENDER FREEMEN YORE DEAD FREEMAN

  5. Damnit Eli stop dying, I can only cry so much.

  6. “If you chose not to ruin the microwave food Half Life 2 Episode 2 is non-canon.” -Ptoad

    Haha!

  7. This changed my life. I will now become a monk.

  8. I am sad :(

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