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TF2: Uber Update Released At Last

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After days of waiting, the Uber Update was finally released yesterday.

TF2: Uber Update Released At Last

Valve released a small blog post introducing people to Meet the Medic, and Day 4 of the Uber Update, which focuses exclusively on the Medic. You’ve probably already seen Meet the Medic, and the blog post is pretty great but features nothing of importance, so we’ll skip ahead and talk about the actual update itself.

Day 4 contains the Medic’s “Clinical Trial” item pack, which is, amusingly, made out of the Medic’s prototypes and belongings, or as the update calls it, the “Medic Heirloom Set”. First is the long-awaited Quick-Fix, the Medic’s very first medigun, as shown in Meet the Medic. Fans of syringe guns will be delighted to see the new “Overdose” syringe gun, and there’s also a new melee weapon, and surprisingly, it isn’t a bonesaw of any sort – “The Solemn Vow” is a bust of Hippocrates that comes from “a time when the Medic still thought doing no harm was a good idea”.

But yes, the Uber Update is finally out. We’ve got everything that was seen and mentioned in the previous update days, and there’s quite a bit of completely new stuff that’s been added to the Update, although strangely enough, there’s no patch notes at all. For information on these new features and mechanics, one should always hit up the Official TF2 Wiki. You could also check out the Official TF2 Steam Forums, but they’re not in very good shape at the moment. Perhaps the most important thing is that a new item quality has been introduced – “Strange” quality. You can only get weapons of this type from the new Mann Co Crates, Series 21 and possibly 20. You’ll be able to tell if a Crate contains Strange items if you can see the stock weapons in the Crate’s contents. At first, both the Strange quality weapons and the new Crates were going for some colossal prices, but now they are starting to stabilize.

There’s also a new crafting system, and it’s rather problematic and complicated, which is ironic, since it was designed to be more simple. Just now that when selecting a crafting element, you’ll be shown a window featuring a Bizarro rendition of your backpack layout. Simply look to the lower right to find the button that will let you access your entire backpack, as it actually looks like. Do this to avoid any crafting problems, as the new system is buggy, and some people have lost some valuable weapons because of it.

And, in case you somehow forgot, TF2 has gone free-to-play. Completely. Forever. Valve has created a webpage just for the occasion. It also includes a fancy announcement video, and an informative FAQ. TF2 players are separated in two types of players: free account players, and premium players. Free account players are the ones who simply downloaded the game for free. Premium account players are the ones who spent money in-game or on the game. This means if you’ve ever purchased the game on Steam, if you’ve ever purchased it from retail (or purchase it, in the present tense), and if you’ve spent money in the Mann Co Store, you have a premium account.

Free account players only have 50 slots in their backpack, can only acquire “Standard” items (which are weapons, apparently), have limited crafting blueprints, can only receive items through trading, and can only receive gift-wrapped gifts. Everything else is exactly the same as it was.

Players who’ve purchased the game, and players who purchase the game at retail will receive a special, exclusive “Proof of Purchase” in-game hat. This thing is a sort of military WW1-WW2 helmet. It looks pretty cool, but don’t expect anything too special. Coaching has also been implemented for new players, and this is part of the new update. At any point in-game, you can request a coach, and at any time you want, you can start coaching new players. Aaaand:

If a new player on a Free account upgrades to a premium account and indicates that you were their most helpful friend, you will receive a wearable item. Helping new users via the Coaching feature is a great way to meet new players and help them out!


And, finally, there’s also Day 5, “Stuff Friday”, featuring… stuff!

The “Meet the Medic” Taunt
Capture a point. Shoot a guy. Walk ten feet. Think about walking ten feet and decide not to. Whatever the occasion, celebrate it with the Meet the Medic, a custom taunt that allows you to punctuate anything you do, no matter how trivial, with god rays, orchestral swells and an explosion of doves.

The “Schadenfreude” Taunt Pack
Science tells us that laughter is the best medicine. Put that theory to the test with the Shadenfreude taunt pack, now available in the Mann Co. store, which gives all nine classes the ability to laugh at a corpse and see if it gets any better. (You could hypothetically also laugh at non-corpse-related objects, we suppose. But what would be the point?)

Put Meet the Medic… On Your Wall!
Let’s say you enjoyed Meet the Medic. Let’s say you enjoyed it so much–and especially that one scene where the Medic walks out of his lab all cool with a bunch of doves flying around him–that you wanted to put it up on your wall. First you’d have to buy a big-screen TV. Then you’d have to buy a computer, connect it to the internet, and have the TV play Meet the Medic in an endless loop. Then you’d have to hire a butler to tell you every time that one scene comes up so you can go look at it. And don’t forget laser eye surgery so you can see the image at museum quality. Total price: $140,000. Per year. What a bunch of crap, right? Now what if we were to tell you that Valve engineers came up with a better solution? Introducing the limited edition Meet the Medic lithograph, available now at the Valve Store. First come, first serve, folks!

Man, is your wallpaper stupid. We’re just guessing, because compared to the new hi-res, wallpaper-caliber Über Update art now available in the Artwork section, trust us, it’s stupid.

The taunt packs can be obtained from the Mann Co Store, though we have no idea if they are available outside of it.

And that’s about all for the Uber Update. Be sure to take a look around the TF2 site, the Wiki, and maybe the Forums. Then, get playing!


  1. When i downloaded the uber update for TF2, I got into a game and realized, i had no items. All i had was the proof of purchase hat. I had every item from all the starter pack classes. I do not know what happened, i might have been hacked, they might have been deleted for some reason, I don’t know. But if there is a solution to get my items back, please tell me. Also, I was hacked and had all my achievements completed for me. If I could some how reset my achievements, that would be awesome.

  2. Engineer on the Uber update, and Pyro on “Meet the” videos, are forever alone

  3. My wallpaper is… stupid?

    B-but I l-love my Henrietta…

    Wait what the hell am I saying.

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