Let’s check out this blog post:

It’s summertime and THINGS ARE ON SALE. If only all our writers weren’t at Writer’s Camp they could tell you HOW AWESOME THIS SALE IS.

Hey, I’m not at Writer’s Camp! And I swear it’s not because they banned me from Writer’s Camp, I swear!

If they wrote something witty about the Scout’s new TOWEL you would probably say “I really want to go out right now and buy a towel for MY scout.” If they said something sad and revealing about the character of the Scout’s new pair of FLIP-FLOPS you would probably say “I care deeply about Flip-Flops, if only I had a pair to show my deep feelings for Flip-Flops!”

I could do that! Wit, sadness, and surprise? I can deliver all of that, and then some! Hire me, quick!

Alas, we have no such writer available. We have no one who can write about how these items ARE ONLY AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME. We have no one who can reiterate in a slightly annoying, but still somewhat funny way THAT YOU HAVE TO BUY THE NEW ITEMS BEFORE THE SALE ENDS ON JULY 11.

But what about me? And what abo- limited time offer for purchase-only items? I smell wool, and where there’s wool, there’s hats. And where there’s hats, there’s loads of people practically throwing their credit cards at the Mann Co Store. But surely that’s not all Valve has prepared for this event, right? What about those Summer Cooler crates?

 Indeed, we don’t even have two short sentences that would convey that KEYS ARE NOW ON SALE TO OPEN SUMMER COOLERS! See? That was only one sentence and it wasn’t particularly short.

Oh, right. Yes, indeed – the “Refreshing Summer Cooler Key” is now available in the Mann Co Store. At the end of the event, on the 11th of July, it will turn into a standard key. Note that all un-opened Summer Cooler crates will completely disappear when the event has ended.

But wait. What about that picture in the blog post? How can the Scout be weari-

Note: The Scout is shown equipped with TWO miscellaneous slot items. We realize this is currently IMPOSSIBLE. After firing the artist responsible, we are now working on making that artist’s vision a reality.

Praise the heavens! At long last, two miscellaneous slots! Give me respite from my cosmetic item-related torment, Valve! Allow me to wear the Dangeresques and the Summer Shades at the same time!

Moving on, the four time-limited, purchase-only items in questions are the “Summer Hat”; the “Lucky No. 42” beach pack, for use in the Misc slot; the “Flip-Flops” flip-flops, also for use in the Misc slot; and the “Fireworks Noise Maker” noise makers, for use in the Action item slot.

There’s also two new weapons, three new hats and four new Misc items. And don’t forget about the promotional Summer Shades. As always, check out the Official TF2 Wiki for more info on the event.

Speaking of the official TF2 Wiki, it is now one year old! They’ve created a fancy webpage to celebrate, featuring some funky statistics, and some delightful gifts in the form of downloadable hats. There’s even a cool little comic, and although the writing and grammar in there was pretty weird, it’s a great idea. Of course, I’m sure many hat fanatics would have thought a far better gift would have been giving Wiki Caps to everyone, but we don’t live in a hat simulator, so there goes that one.

And in other TF2 Wiki news, some of its contributors and editors are treading new territory – launching their very own Unofficial Portal Wiki!

We all know the Combine OverWiki also encompasses the Portal universe, but we think Portal deserves its very own standalone Wiki (but we’re not denying the Portal universe also belongs in a Half-Life wiki either). And besides, nothing’s wrong with a bit of healthy competition! So if you want, give these kind folks a hand, as they’ve made some great progress!